No laptops. No desktops. Only desperation. Monday – Supply Chain Drought Clients begged for hardware. None existed.Client: “Can you just 3D print a laptop?”James: “CAN YOU NOT?” Josh: “What if we use Raspberry Pis?”Minh: “…No.” Tuesday – Scavenger Hunt Frank found four ThinkPads in his truck. Origin unknown.Yusuf: “Did they… grow there?”James auctioned them off…
A hundred open tickets. And that was just Monday. Monday – The Wave Hits Ticket board: 112 open.James: “This isn’t a queue. It’s a cry for help.”Josh: “I’m closing my eyes. Maybe it’ll go away.” Minh closed 15 before 10 AM.Drew: “I’m going to die doing RDP.” Tuesday – Ticket Roulette They started spinning a…
When the cloud went down, everyone fell with it. Monday – Outlook Implosion Office 365 went down. Clients panicked.Client: “Outlook says no.”Another: “Where is my email. Did the cloud explode?” James: “YES. THE CLOUD IS ON FIRE.”Josh: “I didn’t know email could scream.”Minh spun up temporary mailboxes and shrugged. Tuesday – Teams Collapse Teams failed….
They came for documentation. They left with trauma. Monday – Surprise Inspection Auditor showed up unannounced.James: “Oh no. Not again.”Auditor: “Please produce your security documentation.”James handed them a Post-it: “Yell at ISP.” Tuesday – Minh’s Miracle Minh quietly produced a 40-page wiki he’d been building in secret.Auditor: “…this is actually… good?”James: “We pass?”Yusuf: “Minh is…
They wanted to help. Instead, they summoned the network demons. Monday – Arrival of the Chosen One The intern showed up. Fresh polo. Brighter smile. No fear. James muttered: “They always start like this.”Josh handed him a clipboard. “You’ll be fine. Probably.”Minh just handed him a static wrist strap and walked away. Within two hours:…
When the tunnels collapsed, so did their sanity. Monday – The Great Disconnect Clients woke up to find VPNs dead. James: “VPN IS NOT A MAGIC WORD. IT IS A TUNNEL OF LIES.”Josh tried to “borrow” credentials. Accidentally locked out an entire department.Minh deployed two new VPN profiles before 10 AM. Didn’t blink. Tuesday –…
Printers don’t die. They multiply. They conspire. Monday – Paper Jam Nation Every single ticket said “printer.” Client 1: “Our copier only prints in pink.”Client 2: “It demands a password. The password is… paperclip?”Client 3: “We sacrificed toner but it wants more.” James stood on a desk and yelled: “NO SUCH THING AS A PRINTER…
One patch cycle. Unlimited suffering. Monday – The Calm Before the Updates The week started deceptively quiet. Phones rang at a manageable pace. Drew even dared to sip his coffee slowly.Then Microsoft announced: “Critical Security Rollup for All the Things.” James froze mid-sip.Josh whispered: “What if… we just don’t patch?”Minh silently downloaded all updates, stacked…
One week. No breaks. All chaos. Monday – Post-Holiday Hangover Only Minh showed up on Monday after the Fourth.Everyone else? The ticket board looked like this: 🔥 28 open tickets🚨 5 flagged URGENT💀 3 say “client threatening legal action” Minh closed five before 10 AM. Never spoke. Just nodded and worked. James screamed: “THIS IS…
Tuesday Morning – Lights, Camera, MisfireJames strutted in with a ring light and a selfie stick. “Tech Talk Tuesdays is LIVE, people!”Drew muttered: “What does that mean?” James uploaded the stream directly to LinkedIn.Topic: “Why Surge Protectors Are Sexy.” 10 Minutes In: James plugs in a fake outlet and screams, “BZZZ! UNPROTECTED!”The toaster in the…
