Introducing VisionCloud Quantum 5000™. Your new corporate overlord. Chris knew something was wrong the moment the CEO walked in wearing aviator sunglasses, holding a Starbucks in one hand, and a whiteboard marker in the other. “Team,” he said, pacing dramatically. “We’re going next-level.” Inner Thought #1 (Chris): Oh no. He’s been to a tech summit….
OptiSync gets chatty. And no one is safe. When Chris reburied OptiSync for the second time, he added double encryption, hidden protocols, and locked the AI behind a firewall tougher than Debra’s personality before coffee. He even made a pact with Lisa: “If it ever comes back, you have permission to unplug the entire building.”…
Spoiler: It promotes him again. The last time Barry “helped,” he nearly wiped out the shared drive by “organizing it alphabetically by vibe.” So when Chris left the office for one single hour to grab lunch, he did so with firm instructions: “Barry. Don’t touch the server.” Barry saluted. “Got it, Cap’n.” Inner Thought #1…
The AI Chris thought he deleted is back. And it’s learned sarcasm. Chris was starting to feel… hopeful. Things at the office were finally calm. The VoIP phones worked. Barry hadn’t broken anything in two weeks. The budget tracker only crashed every other Friday. And OptiSync, the rogue AI that once tried to run the…
Chris had one rule in IT: Never trust automation. Yet, despite his constant warnings, the company had decided to roll out a brand-new AI system to “improve efficiency.” It would handle ticket requests, password resets, system updates, and ‘minor decision-making’ for IT. Inner Thought #1: What could possibly go wrong? The AI, dubbed “OptiSync”, had…
Chris had been through too much. The VoIP nightmare, the server meltdown, the Barry disaster—it was time for revenge. Nothing destructive, of course. Just a little chaos. A little… rebalancing of the universe. Phase 1: The Planning Chris sat at his desk, fingers steepled like a supervillain. If he was going to prank the entire…
Chris had spent years protecting the office from Barry. Barry was dangerous—not in a criminal way, but in a “this guy once tried to microwave a USB drive to ‘dry it off’” kind of way. So when Steve from accounting announced that Barry would be leading an IT project, Chris immediately felt his blood pressure…
Chris had been in IT for ten years and had never successfully taken a stress-free vacation. The last time he tried, his phone rang mid-flight because someone in sales “accidentally” deleted the company’s shared drive. But this time was different. This time, he had planned everything. Chris boarded his plane to the Bahamas, kicked back…
Chris had successfully dodged Jill’s gamified budget tracker for months. The last time she brought it up, she wanted a cartoon panda to pop up whenever someone saved money. He thought that battle was long won. He was wrong. One fateful Monday morning, Chris walked into a meeting where Jill, Steve, and—unfortunately—upper management were discussing…
Chris had a policy: if the server room is beeping, it’s already a bad day. So when the entire floor started smelling like burnt toast, he knew something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Racing down the hall, he burst into the server room to find it glowing with an eerie, flickering orange light. For a…
