When the tunnels collapsed, so did their sanity.
Monday – The Great Disconnect
Clients woke up to find VPNs dead.
- One HR director: “If I can’t VPN, how do I access my desktop background?”
- Another: “I can’t remote in from inside the office. Fix it.”
James: “VPN IS NOT A MAGIC WORD. IT IS A TUNNEL OF LIES.”
Josh tried to “borrow” credentials. Accidentally locked out an entire department.
Minh deployed two new VPN profiles before 10 AM. Didn’t blink.
Tuesday – Password Purgatory
Ticket flood: forgotten passwords.
Client: “My VPN password is 1234. That’s secure, right?”
James: “I’M GOING TO VOMIT.”
Drew sat in a corner, repeating: “Reset. Reset. Reset.”
Josh reset his own password 6 times. Locked himself out.
Yusuf scripted bulk resets, humming happily. Finished 30 in one sweep.
Wednesday – The Loop of Doom
One client’s VPN reconnected every 30 seconds, kicking everyone out.
James: dual-wielding headsets, yelling “YOU CAN’T VPN INTO THE VPN.”
Josh tried plugging two ethernet cables into the same laptop “for stability.” Blue screen.
Drew muttered: “I can see packets crying.”
Minh quietly fixed it by adjusting MTU. Left a sticky note: “Done.”
Thursday – Josh’s Big Idea
Josh: “What if we chain VPNs together? Like, VPN inside VPN inside VPN.”
Five minutes later, he crashed the test firewall.
ISP called, asking why their core router was now tunneling into itself.
James screamed until his mic clipped: “STOP INNOVATING.”
Yusuf unplugged the test gear, sighed, then used copper wire and duct tape to stabilize the office Wi-Fi.
Friday – Tears in the Tunnel
A hospital CIO called: “Our VPN is down. Also, the X-ray machine now shows Solitaire.”
James nearly fainted.
Drew resolved 12 tickets in a caffeine haze.
Minh re-provisioned VPN servers without a word.
Josh sat on the floor Googling “VPN alternative: living in woods.”
Frank texted: “Tunnel works fine from my truck.”
Epilogue – The Tunnel Collapses
At 6:00 PM, the last VPN stabilized. Silence fell.
James whispered: “Next time, I’m unplugging myself.”
Yusuf taped a note on the firewall: “No experiments.”
Josh fell asleep holding a Cat6 cable like a teddy bear.
The tunnels were safe. For now.