A hundred open tickets. And that was just Monday.
Monday – The Wave Hits
Ticket board: 112 open.
James: “This isn’t a queue. It’s a cry for help.”
Josh: “I’m closing my eyes. Maybe it’ll go away.”
Minh closed 15 before 10 AM.
Drew: “I’m going to die doing RDP.”
Tuesday – Ticket Roulette
They started spinning a whiteboard to pick tickets at random.
James: “Ticket #37: printer caught fire.”
Josh: “Ticket #42: client says their Wi-Fi smells weird.”
Yusuf closed 20 with scripts.
Minh closed another 20 without speaking.
Wednesday – The Great Merge
Drew merged 30 duplicate tickets.
Client: “I opened a ticket because my ticket wasn’t answered.”
James: “YOU CREATED A PARADOX.”
Josh accidentally closed an active ticket. Client screamed.
Minh reopened it silently and resolved it.
Thursday – Inbox Overload
Email inbox: 600 unread.
James: “I need a bigger monitor. For my despair.”
Josh created a filter that filtered everything to trash. Regretted instantly.
Yusuf: “Automation is my religion.”
Frank: “Still at 0 tickets. From the truck.”
Friday – The Ticket Board Weeps
They projected the ticket board on the wall. It blinked in Morse code: “Send help.”
Minh, with a single sigh, closed 30 more.
Josh: “I need a vacation. Or a reset button.”
Epilogue – Paperwork Aftershock
They survived. Barely.
James: “This week was sponsored by Advil.”
Minh updated the wiki: “How to survive a tsunami: be Minh.”